Wednesday, October 21, 2015


I'm floating in the sea.
A sea with you and me.
I jump over a wave and dive deep.
I see my hands reaching up. I see the sun shining down. I see the water all around.

It's all light blue, me and you.
I feel I can get through it now.

~Waikiki, 2015

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Gone Fishing.

I was really worried about this summer.

Every summer since our daughter had been in preschool I had put her in camp. This summer we were in a different part of the city and my husband and I thought it would be best for our girl, our fish, to get acclimated to the neighborhood and attempt swim team. Swim team a sport I had done from 8 years till 18 years old. A sport I looked forward to every summer growing up. A sport that still gets my heart pumping when I get the smell of chlorine.

But would it be the answer to our new community getting to know everyone effort? And would she enjoy it?  And love it as much as I did/do? Would our girl meet other kids and make friends? Would I lose my mind not having 4 or more hours weekly for myself?

Our girl was apprehensive at first. "What if I can't swim the whole pool Mommy?"

BUT then, it just clicked. And our summer would never be the same.

I don't miss the 3.5 hours of freedom in our old neighborhood after camp drop off and before camp pick up. I replaced those hours with chats around the pool with other parents, smiles when I saw our girl figure out to dive(ish) vs belly flop, and internal giggles when she wondered why she wasn't the fastest 5 year old in the 8 and under category.

The season for us just ended and our girl asked, "Mommy, I'm so sad swim team is over. When can I compete again?"

But then I explained the pool is still open till September -- AND Mommy is attempting an Adult Meet Saturday, and she's happily moved on. Now my 'Coach' is showing me how to dive and kick harder out of my free style flip turns.

I guess I could say our fish is hooked.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Value in the smart network

Many people diss smart phones, social networks, etc.  Say it is all ruining our lives - and sometimes I do admit, I hate it all.

But today as I ran - I thought about the ways I value them and how they've changed my life for the better:

1) I don't get lost any more (Maps!)
2) I can call my Mom or my Friends in between moments - or when I can vs when I have to.
3) Recipes Recipes Recipes (Yummly/Pinterest)
4) When our daughter stumps me, I can look it up! (GOOGLE)
5) I can actually look up in the sky w/my smart phone and see what constellation it is over me!
6) 1 click shopping (ALL OF THEM)
7) texting - quick way to catch up with other busy friends (HEAVENLY)
8) Watch littles be born, grow up, go to college - way to fast (FB)
9) Keep grandparents alive in our lives on a daily basis (FB)
10) Share my love of taking pictures of too many things to my friends and family (all the time implying "you can look if you want/and don't if you don't wanna.") (Instagram)

PURE living

Every once in awhile I get sick of it. I get sick of the fat around my legs, my belly, on my back, and I mentally make a change. I decide to start something. Maybe a new diet, or new exercise, new something....

But it's not sustainable.

I'll lose some weight. Weigh in weekly. Measure. And then that one week - usually the week I work the hardest, I gain or stay the same and the whole idea crumbles on top of me.

11 days ago, I turned 44 years old. 9 days ago, I woke up decided to go pure. I'm no longer letting the scale tell me what I weigh. I'm no longer deciding my worth by the size I'm wearing. I'm going with the measurements of feelings. PURE baby!

What's PURE mean? I just made it up (right now!)  It's my version of eating the Paleo diet designed just for U -- and the goal is for Rest of your Life and Everyday thinking "how does (doing/eating/acting like...) this make me feel?"

How do these pants make me feel? Do I feel like I've lost weight? I'm a happy or sad? What's my energy level right now? Should I be doing this? 

So I've given up sugar, dairy, wheat - but I can still eat meats, fish, eggs, vegetables, fruit, nuts, coffee, wine/vodka/cider, 70% or higher chocolate. And no, I'm not counting anything. If I'm hungry, I make a plate of natural organic ingredients and eat.

It's simple and pure.

Wanna join me?

Sunday, March 29, 2015

I'm going to church.

EEK. I can't believe I'm putting this out there. It's so foreign to me because for so long I've been against the idea.

I'm choosing to go church. I grew up going to Catholic Mass with my family. Every Sunday I dreaded church - sitting inside a very crowded service with fellow students and strangers in my home town. Sometimes it wouldn't be so bad, but honestly, I just went through the movements, the 'sayings' (prayers), the standing/sitting/kneeling rituals.

But since my post in November 2014, after a flux of response via Facebook from fellow church (?!!) going friends, I've been attending a Christian church down the street, and shhhh, liking it!

It's not Catholic (I know, I already said it was Christian), but it is an adorable little church in the heart of the neighborhood, filled with people who have for generations attended this church and travel as far as the east side (!!) to attend this church in Crown Hill neighborhood (basically north Ballard - "west side" for those non-Seattlites.)

Our five year old daughter joins me and seems to really like it. Honestly, they won her over when her first time in the church she got to be on the alter -or what she calls "the stage." I can't say I blame her. The children all get to sit up on "the stage" each week and have a special moment just for them. Some listen. Some cry. Some run around being chased by a parent. It's actually such a sweet way to kick off the service.

Then the kids go up to a worship time and I get to sit and learn about things again with an open mind and open ear.

My new church is open minded, non-descriminating, Woman Pastor environment. It also has a similar enough prayer style and communion idea - two things from the Catholic mass I grew up enjoying and responding to, which makes me feel comfortable and at home.

So today, I can honestly say "Yes, I go to Church. And guess what? I like it." 

In case you're curious, the church is Northwest Christain Church - only one sermon each week. And don't worry - I won't pressure you to join me, but invite anyone who's interested! 

Saturday, March 28, 2015

Simple and Crazy.

When my daughter and I walked into the house, we just loved it. It was a Sunday, which in our life means "Soccer Sunday" and the two of us know Daddy is at a game. J was totally a'ok with us checking out the house. I mean, it was the first house we took seriously after the day before talking with our friend and realtor told us we weren't crazy to consider the idea of selling our town home.

It wouldn't be the house.

"Mommy, I want to win this house" is what M said over again over again while running through the house.

"Me too" I said under my breath.

But it was the house- and it was crazy. The midcentury look. The colors. The beachy feel. The neighborhood. The landscaping. I just loved it, but was pretty sure I was crazy and J would talk me out of it.

He didn't.

And we moved and sold in a little more than a month (thank you Cassie & Sol!!!!!!) and we're loving the house each day. I can't believe I live here and lilacs and peonies are started to bud. I no longer have to go to the apartment building next door and snip a hydrangea in the summer from the landlords property (who btw would just chop them down anyway...) M has plenty of room to be a kid. We can host many folks visiting or just for dinner. It's just our home.

I can't wait to see what's next down the road for us in this house.

Here's to simple yet totally crazy ideas working out with the help* of your friends, family, and a little bit of insanity running through your veins.

*Thanks again to Cassie & Sol, Mom and Dad, all of our friends & family who listened to our stress about the move/moving, old neighbors, The Burns Clan, GLM, and more. 

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

My reminder.

I'm 43 and what I have mostly jiggles.
I'm 43 and I can now run 3.33 miles easily. 
I'm 43 and I can carry 50 lbs if I need to. 

My legs aren't thin. My waist ain't slim. I'm now doing yoga and thinking about ways to be creative again. 

I have a daily list of 11 to do's- and usually finish 4 if I'm lucky. 
I also usually finish 47 other things I never realize are on my to-do list each and every day. 

I'm 43 and what I have mostly jiggles.
I'm 43 and I can now run 3.33 miles easily. 
I'm 43 and I can carry 50 lbs if I need to. 

I can multitask while talking to my husband and our 5 year old.
I can drive, sing, think, all while talking to our 5 year old. 
I can plan a dinner (usually tacos, pasta, pizza, or chicken) while talking to our 5 year old. 
I can pack a lunch, drink a cup of coffee, think of my 11 daily to do's while talking to our 5 year old. 
I can schedule a dentist appointment, an electrician, and a plumber while talking to our 5 year old. 

I can very easily put off dirty dishes in the sink, folding clean laundry in the dryer, and organizing any drawer in the house. 

I'm 43 and what I have mostly jiggles.
I'm 43 and I can now run 3.33 miles easily. 
I'm 43 and I can carry 50 lbs if I need to. 

I'm 43 and I'm happy. 

Friday, February 20, 2015


It's strange. I'm more at peace lately. My soul feels thankful and more calm.

In November, I wrote God Is Good, and since then I've been attending church. I now am more aware when I say things like "oh God" or when I over hear people talking about God. (Oddly, this is happening more and more....)

I also bring up things I learn about in Church a lot. Even more -  I ask our daughter weekly what she wants to do on Sunday at 10:30am, and well, she says 99% of the time "church."

This is strange for me, but okay. I find my new church a place where I can sit for 45 minutes and reflect. Either about what the sermon is about or what is on my mind.  A place where I can see familiar faces and dress up for (in a place like Seattle as a SAHM, wearing anything but leggings is dressing up....)

I'm thankful for this experience and where it might take me. And I am thankful for finding a place for our daughter to learn a different level of compassion for other human beings and love.


IMAGE: Posted this image per Rev Monica's last sermon. Guess people really pay attention to adorable kittens on social sites ;)